Obsidian Front unveils the revolutionary BATTLE BUCKET for those tragic moments when FCs forget about bio breaks

In a move already being hailed by military analysts as the future of warfare, Obsidian Front has officially unveiled its latest battlefield innovation: the Obsidian Front Battle Bucket.

Designed specifically for capsuleers engaged in long, gruelling, and bowel-compromising combat operations, the Battle Bucket allows pilots to remain on grid for longer without making the fatal mistake of visiting the lavatory. Whether the emergency is liquid, solid, or some unholy combination of both, Obsidian Front has confirmed that the Battle Bucket is fully rated for all forms of frontline evacuation.

There is, however, one minor issue. According to early reviewers, the Battle Bucket is alarmingly small.

Some have questioned whether it is physically capable of meeting the needs of a fully grown capsuleer during a proper multi-hour engagement. Unfortunately, these concerns now appear to be academic, as millions of Battle Buckets have already been manufactured and there is absolutely no sending them back to the manufacturer.

Sam Spooner - a pilot well known amongst comrades for his mid-battle “explosions” - had this to say:

“I’ll probably get two or three of them. The windowsill is right there, so I can just line them up.”

Ynot Eyob, Alliance CEO and chairman of Dudreda’s Elderly Gentleman Club, released the following statement:

“Our senior members - myself included - will benefit greatly from this innovation. We expect to reduce the number of mid-fleet bio breaks by at least 20%, and therefore increase fleet DPS by 20%.”

In a further act of inspired design, an Obsidian Front spokesman confirmed that the interior base of every Battle Bucket features the face of youngpuke2, Sedition’s Chief Gobshite and village idiot, ensuring that users maintain morale even in their darkest moment by depositing their contempt directly where it belongs.